Aunt Polly

Aunt Polly

“But you’ll still keep them,” she said, “if I give them to you?”

We are driving to Aunt Polly’s and have to cross the international border from Canada into New York State. “Okay, I’ll keep them,” I replied, “but I can’t guarantee that we won’t get busted.”

Aunt Polly lives in North Hero, on Lake Champlain. We visit her at last once a year, and Beth and I usually smoke a joint or two on the four hour road trip. But the border crossing has become more challenging. First of all, they pull you out of line if they even suspect you look like a terrorist: dark features, beards, beady eyes, any or all of the above. Yup. You get the motion to pull aside.

We’re Irish, red hair, pallid freckled skin, so the visual cues probably won’t be a problem. But they have security dogs, sniffing around for sensimila or harder drugs. Ultimately they’re looking for dealers or smugglers, neither of which we are.

I inhale a deep toke, crack my window, and turn up Pearl Jam. “I’m not going to worry about it, Beth,” I shout over ‘Alive.’ “Did you bring your roach clip?”

Aunt Polly is single, lives alone for over thirty years. Beth suspects that she might have some lady friend, but I just think she’s asexual.

Today Beth replies, “Maybe she’s pansexual? Or, maybe she’s omnisexual?” and we giggle.

Who knows? I say it’s none of our business who she fucks because she’s our favorite relative by far. And the only one who owns this amazing lake house.

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About Robert Vaughan

Originally from NY, writer, editor, and workshop leader, his poems and fiction are widely published in print and online magazines, such as Necessary Fiction, BlazeVOX, Connotation Press, Metazen, Thrice, Literary Orphans and Housefire. He is Senior Flash editor at JMWW and Lost in Thought magazines and leads round- tables for Redoak Writing. He is a six times Pushcart Prize Nominee and his fiction and poetry have won awards, including a Micro-Fiction runner-up (2012) and twice a finalist in the Gertrude Stein Fiction Award (2013-14). His collections are: Microtones (Cervena Barva Press); Diptychs + Triptychs + Lipsticks + Dipshits (Deadly Chaps): Addicts & Basements (Civil Coping Mechanisms) and RIFT, co-authored with Kathy Fish (Unknown Press).
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10 Responses to Aunt Polly

  1. Cynthia says:

    I have a favorite Aunt that reminds me of Aunt Polly.

  2. Wallace says:

    Teen-aged delinquents crossing international borders? Sounds like a good cable TV show! Good dialogue and setting details.

  3. Shari says:

    So many directions that this one might venture: Aunt Polly’s lake house sounds fantastic.

  4. Andrea says:

    I didn’t love the first two sentences, a bit confusing. Love Aunt Polly. Does she want a cracker?

  5. Suzi says:

    Are they insane? Who wants to spend a weekend in the slammer because of a couple of joints??? I say smoke them all and enjoy whatever munchies Aunt Polly has at the camp!

  6. david says:

    Ditch the weed and get more up in Canada.. who worried back in the day? never even thought of it crossing the border.. gee whiz.. Aunt Polly was Omni Sexual

  7. Don says:

    I agree with David here- good advice although not sure if I think Aunt Polly is omnisexual? Not sure if I think she is anything?

  8. Yasmine says:

    This is fun, a road trip on mary jane. But would these two be so clueless about just getting high with one joint? Then going through the border without the pot, and buying some when they get to Aunt Polly’s? Better yet, keep a stash there! LOL.

  9. Dez says:

    Aunt Polly is omnisexual…I can tell! LOL I agree with Suzi here, get buzzed by smoking all of those j’s, then eat Aunt Polly’s brownies. Munchies are the best!

  10. Tom Froehlich says:

    Been to the border! Friends to the north my ass! They almost put me in federal prison! As far as the writing. Liked it. Once again you provide so much info about the characters with out saying it.

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